"Made in Guatamala" Means Sweatshop, You PoliSci Kids.

you've seen them around, ralling against the war in iraq, or maybe hugging a nearby tree, or shopping at urban outfitters, buying shirts that say "PEACE NOW" or something of the like. the average person might dismiss them as a hippie. that's understandable. but i know, i know who they really are. they are the




PSEUDOHIPPIES.


once a rare race, they are multiplying rapidly, overtaking our whole foods markets and resale stores. history lesson:

"the hippies" used to reference the liberals of the 60s-70s, who were in protest of the Vietnam War, and tended to trip a lot and went to woodstock and had unprotected sex.

now it's the 2000s, and new offspring of the hippie generation has reared its ugly head.

don't get me wrong, if you're a bona fide hippie, power to you. it's these pseudohippies that i just can't quite take.

let me give a quick description (this is pretty much for girls, because the majority i know are females):

• unruly hair, like maybe they haven't washed it when really, they tried really hard to get it to look that way.
• long dangling earrings, in the shape of leaves or peace signs or feathers. thirty dollars at urban outfitters.
• natural makeup that looks like they aren't wearing any- au naturale, man.
• shirts that have anti-war slogans or again, peace signs on them.
• flowing peasant skirts
• not a purse, but a satchel looking thing made in guatamala. but you've never been to guatamala, and besides, kids in a sweatshop probably made it.
• granola sandals. ugh gross.
• lots of mismatched bracelets and rings.

okay, have the look down? now you have to get the false beliefs.

• bob marley and jimi hendrix are absolute gods. although the only hendrix song you've ever heard is "purple haze"
• talk like you're stoned. say stupid things like "they should legalize marijuana"
• hate bush. hate kids who like bush.
• an inconvenient truth is your favorite movie, second to requim for a dream, only you haven't seen it.
• you're going to be a polisci major, whatever that means.
• government is your favorite class
• you go to starbucks because you're "totally down with their causes"
• paint pictures with newspaper headlines about the war and other depressing things pasted on next to pictures of starving african babies, surrounded by peace signs.
• lecture people who are eating animal products, and boast about being a vegan while getting french fries and potato chips.
• when other people start having a political argument with you, yell at them and keep telling them they are stupid to cover up the fact that you have no idea how to really hold an intelligent argument-- besides, they're right, anyways.
• support che. even though you really dont know what he stood for, anyways. might as well hang up some stalin and mao posters while you're at it.

now, are you reading those and going, whata biotch, she doesn't know what she's talking about! THIS WAR IS WRONG AND BUSH IS AN IDIOT! CLINTON OBAMA '08!!

if that's your response, you're mad because i'm right.

history repeats itself. it just gets less original each time.

to all those real hippies out there:

john lennon- give me some truth