five weeks to go, and the nerves are kicking in. or are they butterflies?

My medicine-woman doctor cured my off my persistent drowsiness and traded it for a minor case of insomnia. Okay, insomnia such an overused word. Maybe i just need to cut back on the naps & coffee. 

Considering i have two calendars in my room and one on this computer, i find it hard to escape the fact that there are roughly FIVE (5) weeks left before i pack my bags and head up north. I started the summer with this I AM SO READY SHIP ME OFF RIGHT NOW kind of attitude; you know, that whole invincible teenager thing. Or maybe the fact that most of my friends were staying in Texas or majoring in business or something boring fed my TAKE CHICAGO BY STORM vigor. 

now i'm on song 32 of 6572 on my iPod, wondering if i should delete my previous post to avoid any i told you so's. 

but the unexpected happened; i realized what i'm going to be missing, and it actually made me cry. 

but getting a glitter & sequin-filled envelope with a letter written on pink construction paper with scalloped edges reminded me that things just might be okay. It was from a dear friend of mine who had graduated high school last year. It made me realize something else; i still keep in touch with her, so of course i will keep in touch with my friends. It's just another state, letters and phone calls and facebook posts don't care if you're in Maine or California. These next four years are just going to weed out the people who don't matter as much as i thought, and make my relationships better with those who do. 

it's still scary.

honestly, this summer has been more than ideal for me. almost unrealistic, yet it's happening. I realized it when a friend said to me at a coffee shop the other night, something was different about me. And it is; i'm happier than i can ever recall--i'm done with people who bring me down and found people who I really feel comfortable with. 

i just hope these next 5 weeks creep by. at a glacial pace. please. 

BY THE WAY:

i went to tilly & the wall on wednesday. it rocked. i actually got a sideache from dancing so hard.

&I FEEL SO ALIVE &I FEEL SO ALIVE &I FEEL SO ALIVE &I FEEL

mp3: beat control- Tilly & the Wall