Orientateeristrationing at 1104 S. Wabash

yeah, i was doing something like that for eight hours in downtown Chicago on wednesday.

eight hours with a bunch of self-proclaimed filmmakers. I mean, technically we are film students, but i'm almost starting to cringe at that title, even though a few months ago i couldnt wait to earn it.

it started when i met this guy randomly at my mom's-friend's art show gallery exhibit whatever: when upon hearing that i was "studying film!" (as my proud mother boasted), he immediately made a comeback with "oh everyone's a film student now! everyone goes to LA, no one makes it, pompous bs about myself..."

yeah, he was a ___bag. 

so anyways, i bent over and peeled my self-esteem off the ground and brushed it off. 

"so, directing? everyone's trying to direct these days..."

"No. Cinematography, actually."

"Oh. You'll get work."

and that was about it. and i decided that no arrogant west coaster is going to try and put me in my place. 

back to orientation:

after getting my campus card photo taken at 8 am (it's horrid- you can see my roots! :<>

so here's what it's looking like thus far:

history of cinema

aesthetics of cinema

development & preproduction

quantitative something (math)

biology of the human immune system

ROCKIN.

so then i got to sit with a bunch of people that i already formed opinions about and pretend like i'll remember their names and chat about "what our favorite films are"!

to me, there is a difference between 'films' and 'movies'. 

doctor zhivago is a film.

superbad is a movie.

see what i mean?

still, the question turned up 'lord of the rings', 'star wars', and the favorite 'garden state'

(i said 'the science of sleep', although 'rocket science' is a close second)

and another word of advice, do NOT say you love foreign films and either a) not name any or possibly worse b) cite 'Amelie' (unless you are referencing French films or Audrey Tautou)

you know, i bet the serious fashion majors get even more pissed. It's not a shopping major, Barbie. 

they say only 60% makes it past the first semester. 

we'll see. 

*the use of the word "like" in the sentence is not a teen frivolity- i'm approximating distance, okay?

since i always post a tune:

only because theyre called

lectric - film school

five weeks to go, and the nerves are kicking in. or are they butterflies?

My medicine-woman doctor cured my off my persistent drowsiness and traded it for a minor case of insomnia. Okay, insomnia such an overused word. Maybe i just need to cut back on the naps & coffee. 

Considering i have two calendars in my room and one on this computer, i find it hard to escape the fact that there are roughly FIVE (5) weeks left before i pack my bags and head up north. I started the summer with this I AM SO READY SHIP ME OFF RIGHT NOW kind of attitude; you know, that whole invincible teenager thing. Or maybe the fact that most of my friends were staying in Texas or majoring in business or something boring fed my TAKE CHICAGO BY STORM vigor. 

now i'm on song 32 of 6572 on my iPod, wondering if i should delete my previous post to avoid any i told you so's. 

but the unexpected happened; i realized what i'm going to be missing, and it actually made me cry. 

but getting a glitter & sequin-filled envelope with a letter written on pink construction paper with scalloped edges reminded me that things just might be okay. It was from a dear friend of mine who had graduated high school last year. It made me realize something else; i still keep in touch with her, so of course i will keep in touch with my friends. It's just another state, letters and phone calls and facebook posts don't care if you're in Maine or California. These next four years are just going to weed out the people who don't matter as much as i thought, and make my relationships better with those who do. 

it's still scary.

honestly, this summer has been more than ideal for me. almost unrealistic, yet it's happening. I realized it when a friend said to me at a coffee shop the other night, something was different about me. And it is; i'm happier than i can ever recall--i'm done with people who bring me down and found people who I really feel comfortable with. 

i just hope these next 5 weeks creep by. at a glacial pace. please. 

BY THE WAY:

i went to tilly & the wall on wednesday. it rocked. i actually got a sideache from dancing so hard.

&I FEEL SO ALIVE &I FEEL SO ALIVE &I FEEL SO ALIVE &I FEEL

mp3: beat control- Tilly & the Wall