settling in the south side

as in south side of the loop.

as in State & 8th St.

as in, my home.

i realized i haven't posted in quite sometime considering it's the fifth or so week of school and my previous post was from the middle of summer. don't get me wrong, i have free time, but i tend to spend it watching movies now. all the time. i think it's slightly obligatory, being a film major. i need to keep up with this thing, because i have already seen so many ridiculous things being here, i just have to write them down. writing. i've been doing so much of that lately. i'm in this development & preproduction class, where all i do is write. but it's good writing, its just ideas that have been welling up from my imagination, i just never put them down in ink. it made me realize how many ideas i've had stocked up that i can actually put to use now. but more on that some other time. 

things have been great. for the overwhelming most part. it's weird looking out my window writing this and seeing the thick clouds over lake michigan surrounding the aquarium. it's a nice view, but the constantly-running El train out my window isn't nice at all. i'm getting used to it, but when you're trying to fall asleep at 2 am it sounds like the loudest noise ever, and you could swear that every time it goes by it gets louder. 

i don't have too many stories yet, unless you count the drunk woman who did a face-plant at the corner of damen and milwaukee, and when a stranger rushed to help her up, she started sucking his face. 

ahh chicago! like my friend joe said, "that would only happen in chicago. in new york no one is nice enough to help them up, and in chicago, people are weird enough to do something like that."

i'll keep posting stories from the front lines. when i'm not pouring through childhood memories for a 5-minute film proposal or making hibiscus steamers at Argo Tea. ('nother post for another time. promise.)

speaking of that 5-minute film, that's what i'm working on right now. 

because three little kids sliding down a woody hill in a plastic kiddie pool is charming, but not quite a story line. 

Orientateeristrationing at 1104 S. Wabash

yeah, i was doing something like that for eight hours in downtown Chicago on wednesday.

eight hours with a bunch of self-proclaimed filmmakers. I mean, technically we are film students, but i'm almost starting to cringe at that title, even though a few months ago i couldnt wait to earn it.

it started when i met this guy randomly at my mom's-friend's art show gallery exhibit whatever: when upon hearing that i was "studying film!" (as my proud mother boasted), he immediately made a comeback with "oh everyone's a film student now! everyone goes to LA, no one makes it, pompous bs about myself..."

yeah, he was a ___bag. 

so anyways, i bent over and peeled my self-esteem off the ground and brushed it off. 

"so, directing? everyone's trying to direct these days..."

"No. Cinematography, actually."

"Oh. You'll get work."

and that was about it. and i decided that no arrogant west coaster is going to try and put me in my place. 

back to orientation:

after getting my campus card photo taken at 8 am (it's horrid- you can see my roots! :<>

so here's what it's looking like thus far:

history of cinema

aesthetics of cinema

development & preproduction

quantitative something (math)

biology of the human immune system

ROCKIN.

so then i got to sit with a bunch of people that i already formed opinions about and pretend like i'll remember their names and chat about "what our favorite films are"!

to me, there is a difference between 'films' and 'movies'. 

doctor zhivago is a film.

superbad is a movie.

see what i mean?

still, the question turned up 'lord of the rings', 'star wars', and the favorite 'garden state'

(i said 'the science of sleep', although 'rocket science' is a close second)

and another word of advice, do NOT say you love foreign films and either a) not name any or possibly worse b) cite 'Amelie' (unless you are referencing French films or Audrey Tautou)

you know, i bet the serious fashion majors get even more pissed. It's not a shopping major, Barbie. 

they say only 60% makes it past the first semester. 

we'll see. 

*the use of the word "like" in the sentence is not a teen frivolity- i'm approximating distance, okay?

since i always post a tune:

only because theyre called

lectric - film school

five weeks to go, and the nerves are kicking in. or are they butterflies?

My medicine-woman doctor cured my off my persistent drowsiness and traded it for a minor case of insomnia. Okay, insomnia such an overused word. Maybe i just need to cut back on the naps & coffee. 

Considering i have two calendars in my room and one on this computer, i find it hard to escape the fact that there are roughly FIVE (5) weeks left before i pack my bags and head up north. I started the summer with this I AM SO READY SHIP ME OFF RIGHT NOW kind of attitude; you know, that whole invincible teenager thing. Or maybe the fact that most of my friends were staying in Texas or majoring in business or something boring fed my TAKE CHICAGO BY STORM vigor. 

now i'm on song 32 of 6572 on my iPod, wondering if i should delete my previous post to avoid any i told you so's. 

but the unexpected happened; i realized what i'm going to be missing, and it actually made me cry. 

but getting a glitter & sequin-filled envelope with a letter written on pink construction paper with scalloped edges reminded me that things just might be okay. It was from a dear friend of mine who had graduated high school last year. It made me realize something else; i still keep in touch with her, so of course i will keep in touch with my friends. It's just another state, letters and phone calls and facebook posts don't care if you're in Maine or California. These next four years are just going to weed out the people who don't matter as much as i thought, and make my relationships better with those who do. 

it's still scary.

honestly, this summer has been more than ideal for me. almost unrealistic, yet it's happening. I realized it when a friend said to me at a coffee shop the other night, something was different about me. And it is; i'm happier than i can ever recall--i'm done with people who bring me down and found people who I really feel comfortable with. 

i just hope these next 5 weeks creep by. at a glacial pace. please. 

BY THE WAY:

i went to tilly & the wall on wednesday. it rocked. i actually got a sideache from dancing so hard.

&I FEEL SO ALIVE &I FEEL SO ALIVE &I FEEL SO ALIVE &I FEEL

mp3: beat control- Tilly & the Wall

back into the ring

so, a good deal of time has passed since the last time i blogged. just with graduation and all, i had been so busy that i hadn't any time to pull up a chair to my computer for anything more than updating my facebook status. ("Lauren is A *gRaDuAtE!!1!11!**LOL)

so i decided it's time for a change.

hearing that my mother and her friend have jumped on the blog bandwagon, i felt like i needed to resurrect mine. and now that i have my glorious macbook pro, that shouldn't be such a task.

other than being freed from the stigma of a private-school high school student, not much has happened. 

but you know, graduation is a pretty big deal. it means that i've completed a bracket on the timeline of my life; i've made a change. With these first few weeks of summer i've been able to make a few revelations:

1) high school isn't all that it's cracked up to be.

yes, i know that sounds horribly pessimistic, but it's really true. I had come back from the lengthy graduation ceremony and kicked off my shoes and took a deep inhale and thought, when you say you're going into high school, adults always tell you "oh, high school is the best four years of your life!" and so maybe i was set up with some insane expectations. But nonetheless, i found myself wondering what was supposed to have happened to me to make those years so monumental. Save being relatively responsibility-free, I wasn't sure i knew what all those adults were reminiscing about. I never had that awesome boyfriend or went to that awesome party or took a kajillion pictures of myself with the same five friends. I don't remember the night the football team came back and won it all after being down at the half (possibly because our football team wasn't so hot) or that one time _____ surprised me with a dozen roses asking me to prom. Nope. Missed that one. But then someone told me, "The people who say high school was the best years of their life only say that because they're losers now." Their prom queen crown makes their real life look bland. I really did't care that i was voted "Truly Trendy." It didn't change my life. So maybe i'll be the one who says, "College was the best four years of my life!" instead. which brings me to lightning bolt number

2) college is going to rock. 

i'm going to be in the place i love doing what i love. i have no complaints. I'm not going to wake up one morning four years later wondering why i went to WACO, TEXAS for college experience and didn't have the guts to really get out into the world and make something of myself (no hate comments, please).  I just feel like i am really going to have, for the first time, the chance to really get out there and do what i really want to do with my life. I dont know how everything's going to work out and all, but it's still exciting just to think about it. I'm moving to Chicago to start a whole new life for myself. No more worrying about who i'm going to sit with at lunch. It doesn't matter anymore. I'm in complete control of who i surround myself with. I don't have to feel like a complete loser because i opted out of going/didn't get invited to ______'s swinging kegger. 

The only thing i have to worry about soon is if starbucks is going to make me completely broke and when my well-dressed, bearded, cultured potential boyfriend is going to give me a call.  

or daniel vosovic, when he turns straight.

ON TO CHI-TOWN!

mp3: Homecoming - Kanye West feat. Chris Martin