en français, s'il vous plaît.

i've had this problem for some time now, ever since french class back in high school. in my head, i constantly waiver between french and english, even though i'm no where near fluent. i'll think a sentence in french, and if i don't know the particular word i'll substitute the english.



montmartre, paris. juin 2007



gradually the problem has gotten worse, where i speak without thinking this hodgepodge of franglish, and now throw in a japanese word as well. i just can't keep it straight.


quand je fais du vélo, je pense seul en français when i'm on my bicycle, i only think in french. like a stream of conciousness narratif. and i smell d'amatos' bakery down the street and i get butterflies in my stomach, thinking back to two summers ago.


too bad no one understands my ridiculous outbursts. no one knows what i mean when i casually reply rien de spécial or c'est là-bas. it's annoying, i'm well aware, but at the same time, involuntary.

i really don't know how to stop it. i have no one to speak with, save this quiet man who works downstairs in the office at work, mais j'ai peur à parler avec lui. when i try to speak, i get all nervous and can only ask him how his day has been, and to have a good night, though my head is swarming with conversation.

les baux-de-provence, 2007

i've decided that my only option is to go back. i've decided that after my last year of college, i'm going to.

puis, je peux faire du vélo sur la côte d'Arcachon et penser en français tout que je veux.

in archachon, 2007. that's me with the long black hair and blue top, sitting next to my french teacher's gorgeous blonde nephew. that's another story for another day.



p.s., i took the above two pictures. this one was taken by kristin ruhnke.

tumblr.

made the move. i'm still keeping this, to make long-winded, profound realizations on, but my short thoughts are re-directed to tumblr.

if you really can't get enough, you can listen to my tweets, too.
maybe that's getting too personal.